Cramps

30 Apr

belly cramp

In the past few months I’ve been pretty good about attending the gym. I guess I started around the time that we were expecting our second child to be born. It’s helpful that I have one at work, and I can sneak in when there’s no one there and do my workout.  This “workout” includes some bike riding, easy weight lifting, and a few pushups. Lately, I added  sit-ups, but have not mastered it yet. About a week and a half ago I didn’t get a chance to go when I wanted, so I went to the gym on my lunch break. I wasn’t the only one there. There were all those that working out is a way of life. We all know these people: Slender, fit, muscles in the right places, Tattoos, no chest hair, rushing between a cross fit practice and an extreme bicycle race. Everything they do looks so easy. In other words, because of people like these, people like me cancel their gym membership or more likely don’t get one in the first place.

So, I did my thing and everything was OK until I got to the sit-ups. I decided to do double as many sit-ups as I usually do (from 10 to 20!) When I was done I know that I have a problem.  I had a cramp. In the lower right side of my belly. I  collapsed on the floor, and crawled to the side  where I lay in a fetus position. I knew from experience (I sometimes get this when having sex) that it would pass in a few minutes, but this one was something else, I could barely breath. This was way worse then anything I had ever encountered before. This is probably  the closest thing to contractions  a man can feel. I also may have let one slip. I’m not sure because I don’t remember farting, but it  sure smelled like one of my farts there. Then one of the guys came over and asked: “Hey dude, got a cramp?” I immediately grabbed my thigh and said: “Yeah man”.
I saw them hiding a smile.

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