Heavy Breathing

6 May

This is a family of snorers. You know what an orchestra sounds like in the moments just before the concert starts? the fine tuning. So something like that. Complete cacophony.

Breast pump

Our apartment is quite roomy, but somehow in the morning, we all wake up in the same room, and almost always in the same bed. It’s not always snoring, but those intolerable noises to which my wife refers to as “heavy breathing”. There are a few kinds of “heavy breathing”, with the most common being something that sounds almost like snoring but does’t have the same force, energy, or volume. A typical scenario involving heavy breathing will have me in deep sleep suddenly being torn  out of my dream by constant shaking. It’s an awful feeling, like someone is ripping you out of your own skin. And then, when I open my eyes, the wife would say: “You were snoring” now, I don’t think I snore at whole so I would ask: “Was I really snoring?” and she would say: “You were breathing heavy”, and I would say: ” You wake me up for this? Come on!”. Another popular kind is the “Khaa”. It almost sounds like dripping water only backwards. It’s as if the sleeper has a valve in his/her nose that is only allowing so much air to enter and exit. If you know what a breast pump sounds like (which in it self is a subject for another post) then you are getting closer. When I try to sleep and hear it, it’s driving me nuts. We have two “Khaa” offenders. Wife and son, and the way to deal with it is very simple: With wife, I just grab her arm, gently first, then a more firm grip as needed. She’ll turn around eventually and the Khaa would stop. With son, I just roll him to face his mom. In both cases, speaking is not required.

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