Effin’ Five Minute Cake- A Recipe (In a way)

13 May

Quick bakeYou are so angry. The people you were waiting to hear from all week about a meet up, and eventually gave up hope of meeting with them this week, just called and invited themselves for coffee and cake in twenty min at your place. Fuck. The apartment is a total mess. Toys, dishes, strollers, books, mail, and even a couple of used diapers that you didn’t get a chance to dump are everywhere, you need to get the kids ready, and you don’t have a cake!

The quick fix for the chaos is simple: Everything goes into the bedroom. Then you shut the door, and defend it with your life for the rest of the evening. The wife will take care of the kids.

This took you twelve minutes, and now you only have eight left. To late for a supermarket run.  “You are out of your element Donny”. You are screwed. Unless…. no, it can’t be done… It’s an urban legend… Unless you will make the 5 minute brownie. What you need are four spoons of flour, same goes for sugar, two spoons of unsweetened cocoa powder (if you don’t have then fuck it, just use Nesquik or whatever), an egg, three spoons of milk, of oil, and of chocolate chips. Vanilla extract is recommended but not a must (don’t spend precious minutes looking for it). You’le need something that can go in the microwave. I use a large mug, but be creative, what ever you can find that will not explode and destroy your life will do. Mix everything together, first the dry stuff, then add the egg, then the wet stuff, nuke for three minutes (don’t panik if it rises a lot) and that’s it here’s your cake.

Assuming you were quick, you just barely made it before the guests arrived. But let me ask you a question, what kind of an ass hole shows up at your house with almost no notice and doesn’t bring cake?


3 Responses to “Effin’ Five Minute Cake- A Recipe (In a way)”

  1. Saint Stay At Home May 20, 2012 at 8:38 am #

    That was my question!?
    If anyone drops in on us like that…they get what they get. I’m not scrambling around cleaning and baking:)

  2. everyday dada June 6, 2012 at 10:55 pm #


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