Helmet

26 May

Jungle gym

People were giving me weird looks even before my son fell face down from a jungle gym’s hanging bridge at the park on the wood chips covering the ground.

In the car on the way to the park he was singing to himself, but NPR had a piece about red pants for men (I shit you not!), so I listened. He stopped singing after a while, not sure when.

It turns out that my fly was open. Not only open, but in a way that the package was showing. I wasn’t going comando or anything so I guess it could have been worse. By the time I realized what was going on it was already too late. All the other parents were keeping a safe distance. Thankfully nobody called the police. I wonder what I’d do in a situation like this. Wouldn’t it be easier just to say “hey bud, your fly’s open”?  It’s a lot less embarrassing then walking around with your penis sticking out of your pants like some pervert.

In the tenth of a second before he fell, when I knew it was going to happen but couldn’t do anything to stop it, I think I wanted to warn him “Be prepared son, this is going to hurt”. Never mind, he figured it out on his own a moment later. When I rushed to him I wasn’t thinking about sex, money, or sports, which are the three things I usually think about, not necessarily in this order. It was that stupid parental I wish I could take the blow instead of him notion. I was also happy that his mom wasn’t there. She was happy too. Earlier in the day we got him a helmet for his tricycle, and he wouldn’t take it off. When I finally got to him, he already started getting up, he cried for a few seconds, then inquired if he had any boo boos, and went back to play.

That’s when I saw that my fly was open.

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2 Responses to “Helmet”

  1. Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife May 26, 2012 at 9:25 pm #

    I’m not sure who lucked out more, you are him? 😉

  2. louiseinskottorp June 9, 2012 at 4:45 am #

    Brilliant LOL

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