Namanini

11 Jul

“Wehh ma Namanini?”

We looked everywhere.

“Wehh ma Namanini” means “Where is my Lamborghini”. He is actually pretty good about it, not complaining too much. But we are obsessed. Where could it be? We searched the cars better then an entire Florida CSI team looking for DNA. The rooms, the kitchen, even the fridge was frisked. Nada.

The toilet is clogged. When you flush, more then one person’s poop comes up. Almost to the top. I fucking hate it. I took one of those toilet snakes, stuck it in the crap, and started twisting. You do this and you begin to understand why plumbers charge so much. The water went down. The snake is covered with everything that was in there. How do you clean it? It still won’t flush properly which makes it a pee only bathroom. Of course we forget. So the next morning I’m with the snake again in the shitter. This time it’s working and we can flush again. But as I’m cleaning my work area I start thinking about how the Lamborghini disappeared around the same time that the toilet got clogged and how these two cases might be somehow related, and how thiswill make a great Shitty Dad post.

I’m in the middle of a home inspection (we are trying to buy) and my phone is ringing. It’s my wife. I can’t pick up but she is calling again. She knows I’m busy so it must be important. When I finally answer she is screaming in my ear:”I found the Namanini!” I almost kiss the inspector but somehow keep it together. I came back home, went to the bathroom, and now it’s clogged again.

“Whee ma Beedubeyou (BMW)?”

He sure knows his cars!

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7 Responses to “Namanini”

  1. memyselfandkids July 11, 2012 at 10:26 pm #

    Your son has expersive tastes cars.
    Those snakethings are a pain. My wife and I formed a plumbing company and seemed to have cleared out a clog in our sink. I am a bit leery when it comes to using the sink – don’t want to reclog it.
    Good luck with the move.

    • shittydad July 11, 2012 at 10:29 pm #

      Sinks are difficult…

      Thanks!

  2. Keeping Up With The Holsbys July 12, 2012 at 12:42 am #

    Wow, we’re still at brrm brrrm. Very impressive stuff!!

  3. dawn of april July 12, 2012 at 9:28 am #

    your kid knows cars! with any luck, assuming i’m no “shitty mom” mine will too! i love your posts. I know now to buy locks for my toilet lids.. this lady is fine with all snakes except toilet ones!

  4. BodaciousBodacious July 12, 2012 at 11:53 am #

    I love your blog and can relate to everything you say. I love your blog so much, I have done a post recommending that everyone has a look at your blog.

    My link is http://www.lifecherries.com/2012/07/mans-perspective.html

    Keep up the good work!

    • shittydad July 12, 2012 at 1:42 pm #

      Wow! Thank you so much for the kind words.

  5. Menopausalmama July 12, 2012 at 11:15 pm #

    You are flippin’ hilarious!!! Found your post through my good blogger friend Lanthie at Bodacious (Life Cherries). I write women’s humor mostly but like to get the male perspective every now and then—had a male guest blogger do a post with me 2 months ago and my female readers ate it up. I’m sharing this post with my husband because he is always in charge of the dirty jobs around the house–had to plunge and snake more toilets than ever when our 4 kids were young. Now that the kids are grown, he is the official doggie pooper scooper. I tease him about being a poop magnet–that’s just the way it is! LOVE your blog–great style of writing and humor. I’m going to subscribe (under the name marciakesterdoyle). When you are not too busy sifting through poop to find race cars, hop on over and visit me sometime at http://Menopausalmother.blogspot.com Thanks for sharing this!!!

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