Archive | Travel RSS feed for this section

Mirror Mirror

10 Jan

image

And then I noticed it. The mirror.

Generally speaking, all three star chain hotel rooms look the same, smell the same, and feel the same. But this room was somewhat different. I think that It was simply nicer then other rooms we stayed in.
The Mirror in the bathroom seemed ordinary  at first, but then I went to pee. Thing is, I could see my self pee. The whole thing. The mirror was right above the toilet, and very low. This was very different. If you think you know what you look like naked, you need to visit this PA hotel to get a second opinion. Watching myself pee made me realize two things. One, that the situation down there is better then what I always thought and two, that peeing was not the only thing I wanted to watch my slf do in front of that magical mirror. But for that I had to wait until much later when everyone was finally asleep.

It was worth the wait. Like in the movies (you know what kinds of movies I’m referring to, no need to split hairs, right?)

*Writing on my phone is proving to be more difficult then what I thought it would be.

Road Trips and Other Thoughts

5 Nov

Road Trip- Family road trips are great. You get to change atmosphere, spend some time with the family, see new things, if you are lucky and avoid rush hour you are in for a smooth ride. In short, road trips can be a lot of fun. But when the kids are asleep in the back, and you and your wife finally have some real quality time to have a meaningful conversation, after you talk about the kids, sex, work, money, starting your own business and your friends, you start talking about your relatives. In the middle of the talk about your relatives you decide to buy more life insurance.

Don’t Flush- There are many reasons why Don’t Flush order is in effect. The most obvious one is a clogged toilet, but there are other reasons like water preservation or just trying not to wake the kids up. Regardless of the reason, the likelihood of actually remembering not to flush is slim at best. I could spend the entire time I pee thinking about how much I shouldn’t flush. I keep thinking about it while I pull the lever and then realize what I just did deep into washing my hands.

The Package- An unidentified box came to my work. I was asked to look into it. Since there was no name on the box it remained unopened. So it was for me to determine who’s it for. I opened it alone, but the loud “Holly Shit” that came out of my mouth unintentionally attracted  a small crowd. In the box, resting comfortably side by side, was a big blue dildo, and a ring shaped piece of equipment that despite all my porn education I’ve never seen before. We couldn’t find a name on the packing slip at first, and I was already thinking about how to sneak the ring shaped thing out of the building when we saw the name. Why the fuck would you have this stuff ship to work? What was he thinking? He said he bought it as a gift for someone. That’s what I would have said if someone found my dildo.

Last thing- Between road trips, hurricanes, parenthood and a bunch of other things I wasn’t around much to share the shittiness of a dad that I am with the world. So thanks for still reading my stuff.