Tag Archives: weight lifting

Moving

22 Aug

I know not what we’ll use in the first trips” I told my dad, who last moved some thirty three years ago, paraphrasing on Albert Einstein’s famous quote about the weapons of WW4, “but on the last trip we’ll use trash bags“. And boy was I right.

Everybody hates moving. Movers hate moving because it’s hard labor that pays little and you get attitude from your boss and the customers. The customer hates it because some sweaty mover guy is touching their shit and might accidentally find their porn/sex toy/pot/you name it. DIY wannabees like me hates it because it’s a lot of work, you get hurt, you get angry at all the people you helped move who won’t come to help you, and your dad might accidentally find your porn/sex toy/pot/ you name it.

In my case it was watching my dad, who traveled such a long distance just to help us, holding a bra in one hand and my dirty underwear in another. Will I do the same for my kids?

Towards the end, when we ran out of boxes and started filling trash bags with totally unrelated items (clothes and frozen food, a plunger and soccer shoes, etc.) it was time to pick my son up from day care, and when we put him in the car seat, a sign of the times, he said: “I donwanna go to Home Depot“. But we did.

Cramps

30 Apr

belly cramp

In the past few months I’ve been pretty good about attending the gym. I guess I started around the time that we were expecting our second child to be born. It’s helpful that I have one at work, and I can sneak in when there’s no one there and do my workout.  This “workout” includes some bike riding, easy weight lifting, and a few pushups. Lately, I added  sit-ups, but have not mastered it yet. About a week and a half ago I didn’t get a chance to go when I wanted, so I went to the gym on my lunch break. I wasn’t the only one there. There were all those that working out is a way of life. We all know these people: Slender, fit, muscles in the right places, Tattoos, no chest hair, rushing between a cross fit practice and an extreme bicycle race. Everything they do looks so easy. In other words, because of people like these, people like me cancel their gym membership or more likely don’t get one in the first place.

So, I did my thing and everything was OK until I got to the sit-ups. I decided to do double as many sit-ups as I usually do (from 10 to 20!) When I was done I know that I have a problem.  I had a cramp. In the lower right side of my belly. I  collapsed on the floor, and crawled to the side  where I lay in a fetus position. I knew from experience (I sometimes get this when having sex) that it would pass in a few minutes, but this one was something else, I could barely breath. This was way worse then anything I had ever encountered before. This is probably  the closest thing to contractions  a man can feel. I also may have let one slip. I’m not sure because I don’t remember farting, but it  sure smelled like one of my farts there. Then one of the guys came over and asked: “Hey dude, got a cramp?” I immediately grabbed my thigh and said: “Yeah man”.
I saw them hiding a smile.